What's It Like to be Pregnant?

What is pregnancy like? I have a few words for that: emotional, scary, and exciting!! If you have never been pregnant before and always wondered what it's like, like I did, this is how it went for me! (Get ready for some TMI)! Let me be honest for a second - I was CRAZY with a capital C!!! It doesn't really sink in that you're pregnant until you see that little "peanut" on the early sonogram and see the little heart beating! When I went in to get the sonogram, I pictured it being like in the movies, they get that roll-y thing with the cord and roll it on your belly with all that goop. No, not this early in pregnancy. They have basically a stick that they put inside to see the tiny baby. I was not expecting that! They use that for the first couple of sonograms.

 

 I felt so special when I saw that little one inside me! I was feeling great, glowing even!! I had no nausea at all! At my first appointment with my OBGYN, she gave me a folder of all the appointments I was to expect and what happens at the appointments. Also in the folder is all the statistics for your age and husband's age etc. That's when I got freaked out! Once you are pregnant you start hearing all the things that can happen or start reading way too much and become paranoid! I did, big time!!! It's like a rule when you're pregnant, everyone feels compelled to tell you every horror story in the book, why is that!?? Well, I had myself convinced, if there was a 1% chance of something, I was that 1%! I drove myself and everyone around me nuts! I guess I am considered a control-freak! It bugged the you-know-what out of me that I could not actually see what was going on inside me the entire time! I was completely out of control and did not like it one bit! I kept wondering if the baby was still there, if he/she was OK and progressing. Also in the folder was a list of medicines you could and could not take, as well as activities and a list foods to avoid. Only eat lunch meat if it was "steaming" hot it said. I love sandwiches they were my "go to" lunch and I was devastated!!! I did NOT want a steaming hot sandwich. Also certain cheeses, only pasteurized! I would request no bleu or feta cheese on salads, even ask the waiter at Olive Garden is the cheese in the pasta dish was pasteurized. I wouldn't eat even a bite of queso either! I tried to cut out caffeine, but good grief I could not get passed the caffeine headaches! Caffeine was one thing I would not give up! I took everything to the extreme! If my dr said no artificial sugars, I wouldn't have a stick of gum! I enjoyed my baths, some people say you can't take baths when you are pregnant, but my dr said it was safe as long as it wasn't to hot. YAY! Another thing I obsessed about! I would ask my husband if he thought the water was too hot, because he is a real wuss about hot showers! Now paint fumes, yeah I REALLY freaked out about that!! We had our mantle redone and some crown moulding put up in the spare bedrooms and had it all painted. I would sleep at my parents until I couldn't smell it anymore! And be sure to use lead free, which I don't think is outlawed now and only found in really old houses. See the power of raging hormones?? I'm sure you moms out there on your 3rd kid are like "Is this chick for real?" Sadly, yeah!

I had another sonogram at 10 weeks, and it was so amazing to me! I could see the shape of a baby!! There was a head and arms and legs! I could see the baby moving around! And the Dr and I kept saying "oh look at him move!" and my OB said "listen to us calling it 'him'"! A few weeks later around 12 weeks or so, we heard the heartbeat for the very 1st time! That is an amazing moment!!!! There on after, each appt the dr checks the heartbeat and it never gets old!!!

Still no nausea for me! But I was having cravings of jalapenos or anything hot! I would jalapenos straight out of the jar, or Totino's pizza rolls with Tabasco! That was just a phase though! No real food aversions, My boobs were sore and I was starting to show, it was so exciting and I couldn't wait to wear maternity clothes! One symptom is excess saliva, and yeah I drooled alot in my sleep! My gums were more sensitive and bled when I brushed. I had leg cramps and swollen feet and I was peeing all the time, sadly not many #2's-thanks prenatals! My absolute WORST symptom was acne!!! I never had real breakouts as a teenager, but for goodness sake you'd think I was going through puberty if it hadn't been for my ever growing baby bump! You can't use and strong acne treatments or anti-aging products so I just had to suffer through, I definitely was not glowing! Also, I had never had heartburn or indigestion in my life, until now! The bigger I got the worst it got!! It would wake me up at night and I'd have to sit up to get a burp out. Lovely right?? Luckily, I never got hemorrhoids or stretch marks!! I had alot of symptoms but I was spared those, thankfully!

 I had been searching the internet shopping for baby things and planning what the nursery would look like. I just knew I was having a girl, so that's all I looked at. And constantly coming up with baby names. My 16 week appointment finally arrived and I hoped and prayed that they would be able to tell the gender. I went in for my sonogram, this time she used the roll-y thing on my tummy and squirted a TON of jelly on my stomach too! I asked her if she could determine the gender, she looked and said, "Yes, it's definitely a boy!" I was again, shocked and said "what? are you sure?" To which she told me, "well, yes unless this girl has a penis!" And I hear my hubby in the background saying "YES!" under his breath. It took me a minute to wrap my head around it, I had no idea what to do with a boy and their peepee's scared the BEJEEZUS out of me!! I didn't have one, how was I supposed to know what to do with it?? But now I was excited and knew I'd figure it out somehow. That night I went to go register, I just couldn't wait!!!

I was in my second trimester and I was always tired. I wanted to get my sleep in now, while I still could. So I was always in the bed. I was also starting to get the headaches that are pretty common. Those were miserable!! But I found the REGULAR strength Tylenol that was dr approved and I would take some when I just couldn't bear it! A few weeks later, still having sandwich withdrawals and counting the days till I wasn't pregnant anymore. I was already getting a sick of it! It was the longest 9 months of my life! I was sick of worrying! But this night I was the start of my favorite part of being pregnant! I felt the baby kick!!! I was lying in bed, watching tv and I felt the tiniest kick, like his leg or arm was the size of my finger and he poked my belly! I yelled for John Allen to come in the room to feel. And like the little performer he is now, he delivered and kicked for daddy! John Allen said it felt like popcorn popping in my belly. At first these movements were few and far between, but the bigger he got (and I got) the more I felt him. It was the best!!! I always wondered what it would feel like! And I always wondered what I'd look like pregnant. When Zane got bigger I would be able to see my entire belly shift and I could tell which side of my belly he was on. Sometimes he would push his butt out and I could tell. Every now and then I would get some painful pokes too! I don't know if it's because I am short waisted or just Zane being Zane he would stretch out and I could feel his feet pushing up in my ribs as he pushed his head down at the same time! That was uncomfortable! Once I got big, everything was uncomfortable. I would have to roll my whale-ish body out of bed a few times a night to go to the bathroom. I could no longer reach my feet to apply lotion after my showers so my loving husband would do the job as well as give me a good foot rub. My feet hurt SO bad!! Occasionally I would feel like I had a pinched nerve or something in my lower back/hip area, it would literally take my breath away! I was definitely ready to get this baby out!!!!

Around 5 months or so I began having Braxton Hicks contractions. It felt like my entire stomach was a big muscle that would just tighten and I couldn't stop it. I could feel it tightening, but it didn't hurt. My belly was hard as a rock!! That usually only happened when I had been on my feet alot. It was a strange feeling since it wasn't painful. I knew not to worry unless they were painful and were coming in a regular pattern, which never happened. From the beginning to the end of my pregnancy I took pictures of my growing belly and baby's size in comparison to fruits and vegetables. It was a neat idea a friend gave me!

I soon began my weekly dr appointments, they call cervical exams. I was expecting your typical annual girl's check-up. BOY, was I wrong!!! The dr braced herself on my bent up knees and was elbow deep!! I about came off that table, and my eyes started to water!! She kept apologizing for the pain she was inflicting on me. Then as I try to regain my breath and compose myself she said "I felt his head! He has hair. And you are 1cm dilated and -1 station." All I could think was "If I can barely handle this, how in the hell am I going to handle child birth!?"

So by the end of the 9th month I was going on nightly walks to help speed up the process of getting him to drop and hopefully go into labor! Sometimes he would push down on me so hard I'd have to stop and breathe, I just knew at any second he was going to fall right out!!!! I asked my dr at my next appointment when I would be able to be induced, I was done and she knew it too! 10 days before my due date she scheduled me for an induction. I went in the night before to get Cervadil, it looks sort of like a small tampon and it helps the cervix thin and dilate. I started having a few contractions with that. But the next morning they startted the pitocin and my labor really started. Contractions feel like strong cramps that sort of wrap around you from your back to belly. They are not comfortable!! But I did get an epidural as soon as I could! I had an easy labor and delivery! Maybe one day I'll go into some full detail on that! With all my paranoia and worrying Zane came out 100% healthy and happy! I think next pregnancy I will be much more calm and lax, I HOPE for everyone's sake!! Even if it's not a walk in the park, it's TOTALLY worth every last second!!

Outdoors-y Kind of Guy

Zane has discovered the outdoors and seriously LOVES it! This kid cannot get enough of being outdoors! When we aren't inside eating, napping or watching Zane rearrange my furniture, we are outside! Since he started walking about 2 months ago, shoes are our new favorite accessory (hats have been put on the shelf, literally!) He will bring me his shoes and whine for me to put them on! Or if his shoes are well out of sight, he goes to the back door and whines. Yes, I am fully aware that dogs do these same kind of things when they want to go for a walk or go potty outside, but the only thing I can say is that other than myself and John Allen, his two greatest targets to torture companions are Nova-our German Shepherd and Starrla-our Yorkie. We may be dealing with a bit of identity crisis. We are also pretty sure he tries to bark and we may or may not have caught him picking food up with his mouth to eat. Atleast he hasn't started to eat dog food yet!

Since we have been spending so much time outdoors he needed toys! All he would want to do is play in the mud and sling mud around and transport mud from one place to another, this usually resulted in him getting the hose afterwards in order to go back inside. I guess this is just how boys play? I am pretty certain I never played in mud as a child. My two dogs are actually cleaner than Zane!!

Trust me, this is a mild muddy baby!

So, we needed to buy this already VERY spoiled baby some outdoor toys. We got him the cutest little trampoline at SAMs, for $139. It is low to the ground and comes with the nets to prevent falling. He loves getting in there and just sitting, I don't think he has the confidence to really jump yet. He also has a cute little wagon he likes to push around and gather random items.

I really have to go now, Zane decided to stand in the dog's water bowl, again...in his footie pajamas...sloshing around...on my clean floors!!

hugs anyone?

Bringing Home Baby!

Going Home!

The first few weeks and several months after becoming a brand new parent are TERRIFYING!!! During the 9 long months of pregnancy you prepare and read all the books soaking in all the great parenting advice and what to expect, let me just say-NOTHING can prepare you for when the time comes you are home alone and the only one in charge of caring for the tiny little human you just brought into this world! At home, there are no nurses or doctors there to help. I spent that day staring at Zane waiting for him to wake up and then trying to know what it was he wanted. I'd think "when all else fails, fed him! That should do the trick!" For us, a fresh diaper and some formula usually worked! We are extremely blessed and have an "easy" baby as they call it, no such thing! All babies are hard because you have no idea what you are doing! But, he did not have colic, reflux or food allergies, no screaming cries, so in a sense he was easy!


First night at home.

1st day home alone! Just staring and waiting.

In the beginning I obsessed about everything, like which brand of formula is the best (I didn't breastfeed), obsessing about sanitizing the bottles and the million little parts that went with them, then if he was cold or too warm,  also not wanting to take him anywhere because he hadn't had any shots yet, worrying if his head was being jostled around in that carseat, making sure he was breathing, checking if he was still breathing, OH and triple checking he was breathing!!! This never got old, it was going to drive me crazy and eventually it did! I slept with my bedside lamp on and would stare at him from my bed, me not sleeping like I should have been! Then the obsession grew to dressing him in stripes at night, this made it easier for me to see his chest rising and falling. It took a long time for me to be able to sleep with that lamp off! Also, you question how do I care for the umbilical cord, and YIKES his winkie looks painful and I was scared to death of it! I made about a million and one late night calls to the doctor about this! I will never forget making an "emergency" appointment because it started bleeding. Crying to the doctor, I said "I'm scared I ruined his peepee forever!!! People will make fun of him!" (Yes, I used the highly sophisticated word "peepee" when crying to the doctor) To which the doctor examined him and said "It's fine! He will look like all the other 7th grade boys in the locker room." I was relieved!! From then on I put vaseline on some gauze and covered "it" to keep it safe and let it heal until the plasti-bell fell off. This was also the day I drove him for the first time. I was shaking! I stayed in the farthest right hand lane of the highway the entire time! I have a sedan and his carseat would only fit on the passenger side in the back seat, so I figured staying in this lane, if someone were to hit me it would be on my side not his! I went just under 60 mph, keeping my hands at 10 and 2 and always using my signal! Eventually, this got easier and less scary. I was also nervous the first time I had to trim his nails, worried I'd cut his little fingers. His first bath was an experience too! Don't get the umbilical cord wet, just lightly clean around it...and that dreaded circumcised area again-don't submerge him in water until it's healed...I forgot, do I start cleaning head to toe or head last? Oh then he just peed all over me and himself, I need to start over. And they will cry because they are cold and this makes you more frantic to hurry so you can comfort your newborn and make the crying stop! But this my friend is easier said than done! Wet, wiggly babies are hard to hold onto!!  

I keep looking back at pictures from the beginning to remind myself of that chaotic time, it's almost like I blocked it out, maybe it was the lack of sleep or the fact that I have "baby brain" still. I obviously no longer have a newborn, rather, a 16 month old who is ALL OVER THE PLACE and constantly keeping me on my toes (still), But now bath time is fun! Trimming nails is NOT! And the winkie department is no longer scary! I could probably change a diaper in my sleep. I am still quite aware and cautious when I drive with him, I refuse to text and drive (you've seen those commercials). We made it past those scary times and know there will be more to come! It's all entirely worth it! Zane is currently in my lap helping me type, so I apologize for any random letters thrown in the mix...and now I smell something unpleasant, and have given you all a frightening glimpse into my crazy mommy brain, so I think I'll wrap this up! At first everything is new and scary, but you get the hang of it and I always think of Trace Adkins' song "You're Gonna Miss This" you will, it was exciting just as much as scary! I love each stage with Zane, but there's nothing like your first experience having a newborn!

Being a Mommy...HONESTLY??

Well, my SIL suggested a new feature for my blog, get ready...Being A Mommy - the good, the bad and the (ahem) ugly!!! The blog is titled "Mommy in the Making" and I think parents are always "in the making" we are constantly learning new things and your children constantly keep you on your toes! Each child will give you different things to experience and learn, afterall they are different people! I am only a mother of one, so far, but I have a sibling and know well enough each child will give a parent different joys and challenges.

SO! Being brutally honest? Even about the hard, not-so-fun things? This could bring alot of judgment my way as well as harsh criticism. Here is my stance: each parent is different in the way they choose to discipline, teach and play, etc. This is OUR way and we do not think it's better than anyone elses, we are just doing the best we can and yes sometimes we fail, we are human too!  Let me just say (and I will keep reminding in my posts that I LOVE my son with every ounce of my body!!! I would die for him!

Who is Zane? Well he is the most amazing 17 month old! He is stunningly smart, outrageously goofy-he is always making us laugh until our sides hurt! He is stubborn and he is mischevious. He has a mean streak, but is usually very sweet and cuddly. He will do anything for a laugh, so we feel sure that in the school days we will get the occasional phone call "Mrs. Ward? Zane is acting up and getting the other kids all worked up" He's a little performer, but hopefully we will be able to teach him the right time and place for being "class clown." For right now, we let him have fun and be a baby, but do try and discipline when he is doing things he knows he shouldn't!

Here I go, embarking on this new blog idea, I hope I'm not judged too terribly and bring some good laughs and maybe some tears along the way! Stay-tuned for my very 1st honest post! I'm waiting for our little guy to give me a good story, that shouldn't take too long! I will try to always have a picture accompanying the experiences, some could be quite gross! You've been warned!